Stuff That's Not Cool

I've been inspired by Angela's website which is devoted to lists. It's a lot of fun. I thought a great list would be a list of Stuff That's Not Cool.

1. Seeing women's ass crack. I don't know exactly when it became popular for women to show off their ass cracks. I assume it happened about 5 or 6 years ago when the low rise jeans became fashionable. The low rise jeans are great. The flurry of ass crack that I have to see is not great. It's just a bad look. I love the female form; I hate having to see ass crack. It just reminds me that slightly below the ass crack is where poop comes from. Nasty.

2. The F train. Can anyone tell me why the F train 75% of the time smells like piss? Who thinks that a subway car is a socially acceptable place to urinate? And don't tell me it's the hobos. I call bullshit on that. For the F train to smell that bad every hobo in the 5 boroughs would have to make sure that the train is their personal bathroom.

3. When my cats stare at me. It gives me the heebeejeebees. I feel like they have finally realized that I am not their God, but an impostor, and they are getting ready to exact revenge.

4. Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal. The box should have a federally mandated warning, similar to a cigarette box, alerting you to the highly effective nature of their bran based product.

5. Tourists. It's enough already. They don't understand the culture. They speak with annoyingly ridiculous accents. They lollygag on the sidewalks. They spend money like its water. Go back home. If we wanted Europeans here we wouldn't have kicked the British out in the 1700s. We wouldn't have bought Louisiana from the French. We would have let Russia keep Alaska.

6. Gum. Why would anyone chew gum when they can have a breath mint? Where's the benefit in that? You are going to chew in my ear and annoy me to no end. The flavor lasts for 4 minutes and then your stuck with a piece of silly puddy in your mouth until you can find a place to get rid of it. And then when you do get rid of it, I am forced to watch you spit it out. It's disgusting. Go with the breath mint. It's better for everyone.

7. Humidity. Does anyone like humidity? Yet with all the advancements we have made, we still can't find away to be comfortable while outdoors during the summer. Isn't it about time for the brain wizards at NASA to create something that actually benefits humanity. They've been living off of their Tang creation for way too long.

8. Museums. I think I've covered this one fairly well in the past.