Dylan McDermott

Lets be honest, Dylan McDermott is one handsome dude. And I don't mean he's handsome, no big deal. I mean if Emma had a chance to sleep with this guy I would ask if I could join.

Without a doubt if there's one man who is going to turn me gay, it's going to be this guy. If one day you see me walking hand-in-hand with Dylan (I should be so lucky) and ask me what's going on I'll tell you that the most handsome man in the world is packing my fudge and I'm damn proud of it.

Some would say that Matthew McConaughey is better looking than Dylan but that's only because the ladies are druling over his toned, hairless physique. To which I have a few things to say: first of all McConaughey only looks like that because he works out like a beast and maintains a very healthy diet - think about it; second of all hairy chests are awesome, not to mention harry legs, backs, and balls. Maybe we could do without the hairy balls.

Back to Dylan, not only is he a really handsome dude, but he is also really, really cool. He has one of the truly amazing stories which make him one of the coolest guys on the planet.

His parents were 15 and 17 when he was born. This means his dad was having unprotected sex when he was 16. Amazing! I'm 32 and still waiting to have unprotected sex. His Dad made money through hustling pool. How incredible is this? Teen parents who hustled pool and Dylan became famous, wealthy, and successful. Talk about beating the odds.

But it gets more incredible.

When Dylan was 5 his mom was killed by her boyfriends' gun. According to the boyfriend he was cleaning his gun when it went off and just happened to fatally wound her. Look, I don't know shit about guns other than guns are incredibly awesome (I only once shot a gun, an AK47, while in Vietnam and I've never felt more alive) but I'm pretty sure that that is a bullshit story. The dude murdered Dylan's mom because she hid his Safeway brand vodka so he wouldn't drink himself silly before he was supposed to go to his job at the junk yard. Who were the cops investigating the crime scene and took this story on face value? Doesn't sound like they put Dirty Harry on this case.

After his mother's death Dylan was raised by his grandmother in such a poor area that his underwear was stolen. When he was a teenager he worked at his dad's bar, serving drinks and breaking up fights - while in high school. And while working at the bar he became a teen-alcoholic.

This guy should have died 20 years ago on some sort of week-long bender ending in a fatal heroin overdose. Just to review - he was raised by teen-parents who hustled pool until his mother was murdered when Dylan was 5.

Dylan was then raised by his grandmother in a ridiculously poor neighborhood. He worked at his dad's bar as a bouncer breaking up bar fights - while in high school. Oh yeah, he also became an alcoholic while working at his dad's bar.

But I have to be honest, I don't care much for his acting, particularly after he made the movie "The Mistress of Spices" which might have been the 2nd most boring move of all time after "Hot Fuzz". But I have high hopes for "Dark Blue" his new show in which he plays a veteran cop leading a squad of undercover cops. I can only imagine that he is going to be a rough and rugged cop who doesn't play by the rules

Sorry for that long love fest, but seriously, Dylan McDermott deserves it.